Fathers Left the Room

This week, Anne Taylor wrote about her experience at a Drag Queen Story Hour in Minnesota. Her story gained national attention with startling photographs of the Drag Queen sitting in a chair flashing his crotch at the children. Incidentally or not, exposing your crotch to anyone, especially children, in public or otherwise, is the height of impropriety and indecent exposure. Anyone other than a Drag Queen would have been prolifically castigated and most likely arrested, but somehow just because he’s transgender, any indecency on this man’s part is celebrated. 

In Taylor’s description of the event, a paragraph buried within her expose caught my attention — and my heart. While describing the demographics of the attendees, Taylor revealed that two dads and a grandfather were in the crowd of approximately 14 moms and 22 children. She further revealed that she witnessed other dads with children in tow who “quickly left” the room once they saw the DQ themselves. Within this paragraph we find three types of fathers that are indicative of many 21st century fathers. 

First – the two dads and the grandfather who remained in the room. These dads, along with all the moms present, have either already sold themselves to the god of social acceptance or are well on their way to searing their consciences so severely they are not far from it. Whatever society deems acceptable and praiseworthy these parents celebrate. While indeed present, instead of protecting, these dads led their children to destruction.

Second – the milquetoast dads who tried to force themselves to embrace this insanity, but once exposed to the reality of Drag Queens in technicolor 3D, they could not stomach it and left. Don’t worry though, their children will be back. While the dads may not have been able to personally swallow the perversion on display in that room, they never should have brought their children in the first place and will eventually approve their children’s return, most likely with their wives. Their weak personal character won’t be able to withstand the derision their apparent disapproval will garner, and while they won’t be able to stomach bringing their child themselves, they won’t stop the child from attending. These are the passive dads.

Third – the absentee dad. Ah, yes. The oft-mentioned absentee father. You see, these are the dads who weren’t mentioned at all in Taylor’s article. 

Fourteen moms brought their children to this event and, while progressives may cling to chimerical ideas, it still takes a male and a female to create a child. So, where were the 14 dads? Many of these moms, I’m sure, are single-parent moms, so the fathers in their situations are absent beyond this particular situation, but certainly some of the homes represented that day had fathers, which begs the question –  where in the ever loving world were these fathers?!?! 

Why is our culture spiraling out of control into putrefied psychopathy? And I’m not talking about just the gender identity crisis, but rather the entirety of our cultural crisis. We should look no further for the culprit than the fathers who left the room in this specific scenario or previously in the life of their families. Certainly, there are fathers who lead their children into the lion’s den, but today I want to specifically address the dads who emotionally, mentally, physically, and/or spiritually abandon their children to the cultural lions. 

Statistically, what puts a child at a four times greater risk of poverty? 
At a two times greater risk of childhood obesity? 
At a seven times greater risk of teen pregnancy? 
At a two times greater risk of suicide? 
What is the common denominator for 71% of high school dropouts?  
What causes a greater likelihood of behavioral problems?
A greater likelihood of anxiety and depression among other psychiatric conditions?
A greater likelihood of alcohol and/or drug abuse? 
A greater likelihood of committing a crime? 
A greater likelihood of facing abuse and neglect? 
A greater likelihood of incarceration? 

You guessed it –  an absentee father. 

No one likes to say that a single parent home is in itself a crisis in a child’s life, but I don’t think we can look at the above list of undesirable social outcomes and not acknowledge that a common denominator exists. It should come as no surprise when we find our society suffering a drug and mental health crisis and all manner of ills when we know that 1 in 4  homes is a single parent home, usually with an absentee father – which is the common denominator. 

Please hear me on this too. I’m not trying to attack transgenders or drag queens. Over 70% of those who suffer from gender dysphoria have other psychiatric conditions and/or childhood trauma according to the British Journal of Psychiatry. In addition, in a study on transgenders and parental relationships, gender dysphoric individuals have more anger and derogation toward fathers and idealize mothers more than gender conforming individuals. In addition, most gender dysphoric individuals had “dysfunctional and compromised” relationships with their fathers, meaning either abusive or absentee. Gender dysphoric individuals desperately need compassion and help, but our children should not be on the front lines of their mental and emotional health crisis. 

Regaining societal sanity and stability depends on the return of our fathers, both to protect our children from situations as witnessed by Anne Taylor and to prevent the trauma that attributes to transgenderism, substance abuse, etc. incipiently. Furthermore, our fathers must not be merely present like the fathers in that room this week. We need shepherd fathers – able to both gently corral sheep (prevention) and combat wolves (protection). As Greg Morse says in his article, we need “lionhearted masculinity that bears Aslan’s description – ‘not safe, but good.’” We need fathers who do not dismiss their God-given protective nature but rather gain the fruit of the Spirit by claiming Christ as Lord. As Morse says, “Kindness, self-control, compassion flavor his strength, courage, determination – not eclipse them.” Within the chapter of faith, Hebrews 11, we see a description of the great men of faith that is foreign to us, men who “through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, made strong the weak, became mighty in war, and put foreign armies to flight.” 

We need these men – men who are willing to prove themselves “to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation,” and then who, like Jesus, are willing to confront this wickedness. 

Last week we saw such a man, Jeffrey Younger, a dad who didn’t care if society called him a bigot, who didn’t care if his peers scorned him. Standing stalwart against our depraved society, he refused to allow the destruction of his son, the actual chemical castration of his child. This man combatted the cultural wolves for his son. He closed the mouths of lions disguised as jurors for his son. He quenched the ravaging fire of societal acceptance for his son. And he prevailed, thank God. 

My friends, if you have a father who stood against the wolves for you, go to him. Go to him now, throw your arms around his neck, and tell him you love him and thank him for not standing by idly. Without him you may have suffered any of the traumas listed above, including gender dysphoria. 

That’s a lot of responsibility I’ve placed on the shoulders of these shepherd fathers, I know. The weight of fatherhood is considerable with eternal consequences. Every father will one day stand before the throne of God, and in that place the responsibility of his fatherhood, whether absent or engaged, will be placed upon his shoulders for eternity. Woe to those fathers who abandoned their children and will stand before a God who, despite revilement, rebellion, and rejection, did not abandon His children. 

Absentee fathers, who leave the room, who abandon their children, cannot defend themselves before the faithful Father. He made His presence in His very throne room available to us by dying on a cross, tearing down the veil, and bridging the gap with Himself. 

Pray for fathers – for salvation first, for their hearts to be turned toward home, and for them to never “leave the room” – their families – just like Jesus who will never leave us nor forsake us. 

Hannah R. Miller
Host, The Hannah Miller Show